The First Birthday of My Best Friend After Her Death

Do you celebrate birthdays in heaven?

 

She was like an angel, who would be there in dark times trying to light it up, a soothing rhythm that could make all the worries fly away. She was like a personal diary that kept all of the secrets until the very last moment. She was just like a bright star, which would get everyone delighted by her pleasant aura. 

When a friend who’s very close to heart dies, the life loses its meaning as the person who would lighten up the mood, bring laughter and colors to life is not there when their presence is the one which is needed the most. All the things seem uninteresting as the one who was there to take part in them is not there anymore. 

The memories of the time we spent together are still fresh in my mind. I still remember every time how she approached me, knowing I was an introvert (just picky). There was no filter between us, so we knew each other’s secret. I was dejected when I got to know the condition of her kidney disease. 

Being a bit conservative, she has always been single but introduced me to many new people as she was an extrovert known for her unique, elegant fashion and friendly personality. Some friends that I know now was introduced by her, she blessed me with wonderful people. 

She would always crack jokes, making us laugh until tears could come out. No doubt she had a good memory by which she remembered every important date about special events. She always listened to my problems calmly without judging me and even helped me find solutions for them. 

Her smile was engraved in the canvas of my mind. I didn’t know that, that it would be her last birthday that we would celebrate together. I remember she messaged me last year, what day is today? And she was upset, I forgot and I didn't mean it, I was busy. But as your best friend, she has the right to be sad about it. 

The laughter, giggles, and late-night talks didn’t last after 20^th February 2021. The last day I saw her, not smiling or cracking random jokes bringing me to tears by just laughing. But resting peacefully in her coffin, I was so numb that tears couldn’t come out. Everything inside me fell apart as I couldn’t see the colors of my life again. 

It took me few months to swallow the ugly, bitter truth of her death by kidney failure. The day I moved on was the exact date of her birthday. I did all the same things we used to do on her birthday. Hanging out with our other friends and to end the day, I was at the beach looking at the sunset remembering all of our memories of this special day. I will always remember our beautiful time in my heart.