SO LONG...

It must have been love in October 1997. I remember that month vividly because it marked my 18th birthday, a time of transition and newfound freedom. But what can we do? It was the year we were still under the roof of our parents, and I was young, foolish, and stubborn. Looking back now, I can't help but regret the moments when I failed to make you feel loved, and I wish I could turn back time.

At 18, I was just beginning to explore the world and discover who I was. It was an exciting and confusing time, filled with dreams and aspirations. And amidst it all, you were a constant presence in my life. There was a spark between us, an undeniable chemistry that made every interaction feel electric. It was love, I see that now, but back then, I was too caught up in my own insecurities and immaturity to fully embrace it.

I was stubborn, always putting up walls and pushing you away. I failed to realize the depth of your feelings for me, and I never took the time to truly understand your needs. Instead, I was a spoiled brat and had a strong sense of judgment nga palagpat man hehe, and I missed out on the opportunity to make you feel truly loved and cherished. As the years passed, we grew apart, and life took us on separate paths.

 I watched from a distance as you found happiness with someone else, and it was then that the weight of my mistakes hit me like a ton of bricks. I had let go of someone who genuinely cared for me, and I couldn't help but feel a profound sense of regret. I had lost something special, and it was too late to turn back time. Took me more than a decade to stop searching for "YOU" in another person. They will never be like you.

But even now, years later, I still carry the memory of that love we shared. It was genuine, pure, and beautiful. It's a bittersweet reminder of what could have been, a constant reminder of the person I was and the person I could have become. I will never forget how you made me feel, how your presence brightened my days, and how your absence left an emptiness in my heart. I may be unable to change the past, but I can learn from it. I can grow and become a better person who understands the importance of love, vulnerability, and communication. I can strive to make amends for my mistakes, not only with you but others in my life. 

So, as the years go by, I want you to know that even though it's too late to rewrite our story, I will always cherish our love. It shaped me, taught me valuable lessons, and made me realize the significance of expressing love and appreciation. I may have been stupid and hard-headed back then, but I carry the weight of my regrets and use them as a driving force to become a better person. 

 October 1997 will always hold a special place in my heart, not only because I turned 18 but because it was a time when love was within my reach, and I foolishly let it slip away. It must have been love, and even though I can't go back, I will always remember it as a genuine and profound connection.

In 2018, after 20 years...my life changed, and it's a new chapter that I welcome with all my heart, with certainty and true love.