Memories of My Father: A Journey of Loss and Healing

November 2019 was the month that changed my life forever. It was the month that my father, my confidant, my rock, succumbed to cancer. The pain of losing him was unlike anything I had ever experienced before. Waking up in the early morning sobbing, knowing that I would never see him again, was a feeling that I wouldn't wish upon my worst enemy. The weight of his absence made it hard to go home, and my heart felt so heavy that I cried every day.

In December 2019, I made a decision that would unknowingly become a crucial part of my healing process. I brought home a golden retriever and named him Tanner. Little did I know that this furry companion would become my solace. He occupied my mind after work, and I found joy in simply being with him. Tanner became my constant source of comfort and companionship during a time when I needed it the most.

As I reflect on my father, I am reminded of his unwavering support and understanding. He was a good listener and never hesitated to stand by me, even during times when I made decisions that led to unfavorable outcomes. His love and acceptance were constant, and I carry his lessons with me every day.

Completing my Ph.D. should have been a moment of unadulterated joy, but it was overshadowed by the absence of those I had lost along the way. My father and my best friend, Glenda, were no longer there to share in my achievements. Their absence left a void that I struggled to fill.

Despite the heartache, I discovered something unexpected - an appreciation for solitude. I found solace in being alone and embraced the peace it brought. In my solitude, I found the strength to navigate the grief and begin the journey towards healing.

Throughout the turmoil, I never forgot my responsibilities as a mother. Even in my own heartbreak, I remained steadfast in providing love and support to my children. Their presence, love, and understanding became my pillars of strength.

In sharing my journey of loss and healing, I hope to connect with others who have experienced similar pain. I aim to create a space where we can find solace in the shared experience and support one another through the healing process. This blog is a tribute to my father, a reflection of my journey, and a testament to the resilience of the human spirit.